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Lorde’s Next Album Is About Being an Adult
Honestly I wasn’t really that into Lorde until I found out she was really just Randy Marsh with autotune. If you read the lyrics to any song from her first album Pure Heroine, it all reads pretty much...
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De Niro Snubs Photo With Schwarzenegger Because Trump
Considering Robert De Niro sees no difference between Donald Trump and the flat out batshit crazy Dr. Strangelove villain General Jack D. Ripper, it makes sense he wouldn’t be too crazy about anybody...
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Kanye West Blew All His Money on Furniture He Hates
#KanyeProblems Apparently the Wests had celebrity interior designer Sandy Gallin deck out their new home with the kinda shit so expensive it makes you go right past envious into kinda bewildered and...
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Anna Kendrick Hangs Out With Gays and Has ‘Girl Crushes,’ Does She Want An...
Straight people are hilarious. Anna Kendrick has a memoir coming out called Scrappy Little Nobody, which is pretty funny. When you are one of the most famous straight people on earth and you are...
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Eric Trump Pulled A Classic Eric Trump and Broke the Law While Voting
Justin Timberlake caught some heat for his illegal voting selfie in Tennessee. Depending on the state you live in, that voting selfie can get you fined, jailed, or impaled on a pit of spikes. Eric...
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Crowds Sticking Their ‘I Voted’ Stickers All Over Susan B. Anthony’s Grave
As Susan B Anthony led the US women’s suffrage movement during the late 19th and early 20th centuries, people are getting emotional on the eve of the probable election of the first female president....
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Get Ready For Deadpool 3 Ft: The X-Force
Deadpool broke nearly a dozen box office records, including being the highest grossing R-rated film of all time. Of course, when the Hollywood film factory churns out anything good, they are gonna make...
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Brad Pitt Cleared In Child Abuse Case
Brad Pitt has been cleared of child abuse allegations by the LA County Dept of Children and Family Services. This gives him a gigantic leg up in his custody war over his and Angelina Jolie’s children....
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George R.R. Martin on President Pussygrabber: ‘Winter Is Coming’
Thanks white people. I don’t watch Game of Thrones, and considering we have a limited time frame before Donald Trump destroys this country in fire I think my time is too precious and limited to get...
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People Burning New Balance Shoes After They Came Out In Support Of Our Brand...
Firstly, I am all for setting anything you want on fire. Kinda tone deaf of New Balance to go off celebrating Trump’s presidency when he lost the popular vote and half of the country is in the streets...
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Are Gwyeth Paltrow and Chris Martin About to Consciously Re-Couple?
Only three months after filing for divorce, it looks like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are about to get back into it. Which is really weird considering that over the course of their several year...
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Brad Pitt Has Some Dirt on Angelina Jolie, Y’all
Rumors are going around that Brad Pitt has some audio recordings of Angelina Jolie that are gonna change everything. According to a source, these “dynamite” tapes will fucking wreck Angelina Jolie’s...
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Two Bald Eagles Flung Themselves Into a Sewer Drain in Honor of Our Cool New...
The punchline of this joke is: America. After a Florida resident saw two bald eagles violently fling themselves into a human waste pit, he pulled over to try and help and found one of the birds trapped...
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Men Mad at Women Only Screenings Of ‘Wonder Woman’
The Alamo Drafthouse is hosting Wonder Woman screenings for women only. Like legit. Forreal. Check out the memo via Birth.Movies.Death.. The most iconic superheroine in comic book history finally has...
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Ever Wondered Why They Gave Jon Snow a Small Dick?
Game of Thrones is all about women that somehow, despite living in a medieval low tech hell, are as smooth, pale, hairless, and constantly naked as those weird cats Kat Von D has, but the show’s...
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Zayn Malik Regrets Doing ’50 Shades Darker’ Duet With Taylor Swift
Bet he doesn’t regret that paycheck tho. According to RadarOnline.com, Zayn Malik never wanted to do the track “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever” with Taylor Swift in the first place, only did it because he...
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Paris Jackson Got Mistaken For A Homeless Person
#BrooklynGoals Despite being an heiress and daughter of Michael Jackson, Paris Jackson said a dude tried to kick her off the set of her own photo shoot after thinking she was homeless. Jackson, who has...
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Mexican Politician Mocked For Worst Campaign Hashtag Ever
Mexican politician Javier Zapata proved he doesn’t really know what the internet is with a campaign hashtag trying so hard it makes Hillary Clinton‘s campaign look cool and not at all desperate....
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My Top 6 Memes Of All Time
I, a memeologist, am here to bring you a high-quality meme experience. Here are some of the best recent memes, hot and fresh off of the press. 1. Beyonce Ordering Food Ok, so this Beyonce meme is pure...
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People Don’t Like Jamie Foxx’s Sign Language Joke
Last week, Jamie Foxx went on Jimmy Fallon to promote some shit he’s a part of that we all have already forgotten about and thought doing fake sign language while Jimmy Fallon talked in the promo would...
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